From Walking in Heels to Walking Behind the Bride: A Bridesmaid's Perspective

Last Sunday, a month after throwing my friend Lauren her bridal shower, I fulfilled my duty as her only bridesmaid at her wedding. Starting the sacred morning with holy matrimony and ending the night with the wedding reception, the day turned into a joyful celebration shared with her big family and friends. My friend—the bride—shone with happiness. Although tired, she radiated this so-called wedding glow that seemed quite palpable to the guests.

As her bridesmaid and friend, I was happy that she was happy. My ultimate goal for the day was to assist her physically (her wedding dresses were biiig!) and emotionally (in case there were any bridezilla moments). I wouldn't say that the stress level was zero, but overall, everything was perfectly under control. I dare say the bride was satisfied with how her big day turned out.

While I realize that weddings are generally focused on the happy couple, this experience has shown me what often goes unnoticed. Spending the day so close to the event organizer and bridal stylists made me realize something so important: the wedding details. While the bride and groom are the stars of the show, everything around them that day is the extra element that the couple depends on for the day's ultimate success. Without the minutiae, the couple will just be two people in a relationship, won't they?

Well, being a part of the hectic atmosphere certainly brought its own challenges, like succumbing to physical exhaustion. I have been calling in sick these past two days. In addition to catching a cold, my back and legs ache. Despite the unexpected aftermath, I don't regret saying yes when my friend asked me to become her bridesmaid. It was a beautiful moment that I wouldn't miss for the world, and I would gladly do it for my other close friends (if they ask me, of course).

Aside from the often-overlooked details, this experience has also taught me how tiring being a bridesmaid can be. I was once a bridesmaid at a high school friend's wedding a couple of years ago. Back then, all I did was pose for pictures and keep my friend company. She had many people helping her with most of the tasks already, so I was there more as a complement than out of necessity. My first experience didn't prepare me well, but to be fair, I hadn't even graduated college back then.

While I'm glad that this time I could be more helpful to the bride, I must also say that it's crucial to ensure you're fully committed before agreeing to be a bridesmaid. I can't emphasize enough how happy I would be to do it for my other friends, but I also need to point out the fact that you shouldn't do it just for the sake of aesthetic value. Here are some of my two cents in case you are about to say your first 'I do' or already have:

1. Make sure you have a good relationship with your friend. Where I live, it's very common to have the holy matrimony in the morning and the wedding reception at night. During those times, including the break in between, you will be assigned to keep the bride company. With that said, making sure that you have a good relationship with your friend is super important. Having a good conversation, I believe, reduces anxiety and nervousness. It's not only good for the bride but also for you, the bridesmaid, since you will be with her for almost the entire day.
   
   
   
   
2. Be sure you are okay with being your friend's assistant for a day. In many ways, being a bridesmaid is like being an assistant. You must make sure that you are okay with walking quickly on your heels when the bride needs something quickly; going back and forth to the bride every time she moves to ensure that the wedding dress train doesn't get in the bride's way (and you can't be in her way too!); holding her stuff because the bride isn't supposed to hold anything but the flower bouquet; and much more. If you are comfortable with everything mentioned and more, I would encourage you to say yes and help a friend.
   
   
3. Be prepared to lower your ego during a mistake or argument. Sure, being a bridesmaid is tiring. Being the bride, however, is a thousand times more exhausting. While everyone longs for a perfect wedding, there will most likely be some errors, mistakes, or stress-induced blunders along the way. If it involves you, I advise you to lower your ego and forgive your friend. She has enough to be anxious about without a scene from her bridesmaid adding to her stress.
   
   
   
   
4. Bring tissues with you because the bride needs it! If there is something the bride urgently needs during the ceremony, it is not her phone or her wallet. It is a pack of tissues instead! You will never know when or where the waterwork is going to happen, so always carry tissues—it's better to be safe than sorry.

So, how about you? Do you have any experience or some useful tips to share? Don't be shy; do let me know.